The luxury of Grandparents – Grab it!

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While the initial excitement about being the new mommy lasts, you may be in a whirl to do it all for your little one. More than one of us would have felt that urge to do everything humanly possible and beyond, for your little one, all by yourself.

Reasons:

  1. You don’t trust another with your baby. Of course! How can they know how precious your little one is for you?
  2. How can someone else know what your baby needs and wants?
  3. Lest should the baby grow more fond of that other person.

You couldn’t be more wrong here dear mommy. The counter arguments:

  1. They needn’t be strangers. Solution :Grandparents?? Your baby will be their grandchild!  One step more! Your baby is precious, for them as much as for you.
  2. They have had you or your husband. They knew it then, they will know it better now!
  3. A mom is a mom. Irreplaceable. Period. Noone will find more space in your baby’s heart than you.

You could come up with a millions reasons to avoid help. But after the initial hu-haa fades off, you realize that you and your baby need other people to survive the ordeal.

I am not talking about strangers you hire to help you with your baby. I am talking about family.

Despite all your differences, you must encourage your parents and in-laws to visit and help you with your baby.

Why? Because the love your baby gets from extended family is far more vital than you think it is.

I have realized with Dhruv that his grandmother and he share a special bond. She has grown to be such a strong support for him, someone he can confide in. The way he feels pampered and connected with her is one-off.

Of course I have had my tiff with her, but over time we have realized the we both have a different but special bond in our own rights, with Dhruv.

There is no need to fight for mind space. There is enough room for everyone in a child’s brain.

So while the discipline and love of a mom cannot be replaced, we must realize that the love of a grandparent can’t be replaced too.

Do not deprive your baby of that love, you can clearly set the rules and request the grandparents to abide by it. They maybe defiant initially, but they will grow into it.

They will acknowledge that they are not the parents but the grandparents and parents get to make the rules.

Give them a chance. Let them bond. It will be the best thing you can give your baby!

I resolve to be unconditional, for you my baby..

Dhruv,

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Here you are, popped out of me without much notice. I did not have you till yesterday but today my whole life revolves around you. In a few years you would be independent and you would need me no more…

My parents would have put in all their effort to give me as much as they can. I will do the same for you and you will, for your baby.

The reverse does not hold true. I do not give back even a part of what my parents gave me. It is a futile effort even to try. It isn’t really cyclic.

We love giving, often more than what is necessary for those who we love and care for, more for our children than for anyone else. But it is not for nothing.

How often do we think, ‘I give you my everything, and you reciprocate with thanklessness..’

And there dies the beauty of the most beautiful…

Every time we give, we unconsciously expect. The love is no more love, it then becomes a liability.

It is important I realise that I give you all that I do, not because you ask me to. But because I want to. Not because I am forced to but because it’s natural for a parent to provide. Unconditionally.

Through you I satisfy my motherly urge. But the moment I expect that you take care of me in return, it loses its beauty.

The beauty of unconditional love.

This is one important lesson I learnt from you, my baby.

If you love, love unconditionally. If you give, give unconditionally. Be it for your friend, love or child.

Then there is no room for disappointment, no room for frustration.

Only happiness and satisfaction remains.

So Dhruv, anytime I corner you with that hopeless line ‘I brought you up with so much love and effort and look how you reciprocate…’, remind me of my resolve to be unconditional, if not to anyone else in the world but with you..