Mummy’s Broken Breakfast (Lunch and Dinner!!)

12 So every time I try to get any work done..cooking…cleaning…getting dressed for work..or have breakfast, something peculiar happens.

Every single time.

I will be gulping down my breakfast and I hear Dhruv calling out to me from the living room, ‘Maa…wanna pee….urrrrrgent…’

Sabarish runs up saying ‘Come lets go to the Loo..’

He says ‘ NO. Ma’ll take Dhruv to the loo..’

I place my half eaten breakfast away and accept his demand like a crown of a beauty pageant.

I run up to him saying… ‘hold on…don’t go .. don’t go.. Ma’ll take you to the loo..’

I sweep him up and take him to the nearest loo(which happens to be his grandmother’s) and I put him down to do his business…

He says ‘ Dhruv will go only in Dhruv’s loo..’

I try to negotiate ‘Just go or you’ll wet your pants..’

He says ‘Dhruv can wait till Dhruv reaches Dhruv’s loo..!!’

At this point, I count till 10 and bite my tongue, so that I don’t freak out (my house is the least toddler friendly and running up from the living room to his bedroom every time he wants to pee is quite cumbersome..)

I take him upstairs to his loo and finally he goes about his business.

Phew..I reach down and continue with my breakfast…

  1. Wondering how his timing can be this perfect..
  2. Impressed by his negotiation skills..
  3. Amused by his reference to himself as a third person..

and then he calls out to me again…only this time it’s a poop story!!!

More on that later! (don’t worry it isn’t all that Eww!!)

All mommies know what this is about. All kids feel the urge to pee and poop almost always when the mom puts a morsel of food in her mouth.

As irritating as it can be, this is a truth all of us have to live with.

Patience mommies, Patience!

Maybe some we will relish food, the way it is meant to be.

By then, we would have gotten so used to eating food this way that delicious food may mean cold dry and not warm and juicy!

I will grow up just fine Mom. I promise!

 mother-

A new mom is often overwhelmed, so much that a rash or a hiccup of the new born could give her sleepless nights.

Worry becomes her first self, first before any other thought or feelings.

I was worried to death anticipating situations before they actually came about. I fear many moms may be faced with similar situations. For instance:

  1. While I realised the challenge of breastfeeding, I was already worrying about weaning!
  2. Dhruv was only 60 days old and I was worried to death why he wasn’t trying to roll over! (Courtesy my lovely (read crazy) relatives)!
  3. I used to count the number of times he poops and pees like I was counting precious diamonds falling down the sky!
  4. While I had a good 8 months of maternity break, I was worried about leaving him and going back to work from the first month. How would he cope? (now I realise it was more of how I will cope than him!)
  5. I found co-sleeping the only way to get him to sleep through night, but I was already imagining him being 10 and still so-sleeping!

These are just a few…millions of things worried me then. But when I look back, it was all needless.

I failed to understand that if the miracle of child birth was so fool proof, The Divine Being could not have gone very wrong in child rearing as well, so while he has put moms, dads and relatives to take care of the new born, He knows when to time those milestones for your baby. And if they aren’t milestones then they definitely aren’t worth worrying about are they?!

Give your little one time. Let him be at his own pace. Do not rush him to be the baby you want him to be (it doesn’t work anyways!) For if you try to then frustration sets in.

He will wean, eat solids, be toilet trained, sleep by himself and finally grow up – just fine.

This is probably when you learn your Lesson no 1 of motherhood:
While the pressure of being the perfect mom bringing up a perfect child (whatever a ‘perfect child’ that means!) sets in, you may want to remind yourselves that you cannot make your baby what you want him to be. A lot of unknowns mould him. You can only try, hope and pray. You can only guide but not rule.

And for all those vain moms who think they have the perfect kids – we may have babies gifted beyond just discipline! We may have heroes in the making. Those that question,think for themselves  and then decide what they want to follow.

Those that make history.

You have been gifted with a baby who is perfect for you, not for the world. For he and you will make this world perfect for you. Together.

I resolve to be unconditional, for you my baby..

Dhruv,

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Here you are, popped out of me without much notice. I did not have you till yesterday but today my whole life revolves around you. In a few years you would be independent and you would need me no more…

My parents would have put in all their effort to give me as much as they can. I will do the same for you and you will, for your baby.

The reverse does not hold true. I do not give back even a part of what my parents gave me. It is a futile effort even to try. It isn’t really cyclic.

We love giving, often more than what is necessary for those who we love and care for, more for our children than for anyone else. But it is not for nothing.

How often do we think, ‘I give you my everything, and you reciprocate with thanklessness..’

And there dies the beauty of the most beautiful…

Every time we give, we unconsciously expect. The love is no more love, it then becomes a liability.

It is important I realise that I give you all that I do, not because you ask me to. But because I want to. Not because I am forced to but because it’s natural for a parent to provide. Unconditionally.

Through you I satisfy my motherly urge. But the moment I expect that you take care of me in return, it loses its beauty.

The beauty of unconditional love.

This is one important lesson I learnt from you, my baby.

If you love, love unconditionally. If you give, give unconditionally. Be it for your friend, love or child.

Then there is no room for disappointment, no room for frustration.

Only happiness and satisfaction remains.

So Dhruv, anytime I corner you with that hopeless line ‘I brought you up with so much love and effort and look how you reciprocate…’, remind me of my resolve to be unconditional, if not to anyone else in the world but with you..